Oh Starry Night
by Ladyameena22
Summary: what he did to kanda was unacceptable, he saved kandas life. Lavi/Kanda rated m to be safe for later chapters
1. darkness decends

**I dont own d gray man but how i wish i did.**

**first Lavi/kanda or d gray man fanfict so please be nice**

**'meena**

It was a dark night at the black order, a very dark night indeed. Two exorcists had disappeared and no one can find them. Last reports indicate that they were both killed in action. However when a team of finders were sent to recover the corpse none could be found. It was like they had both vanished of the face of the earth. It was a sad night indeed. Komiu was filling in the paperwork for a fallen exorcist, Allen and Lenalee were mourning the loss of their close friends still unable to accept what had happened. Bookman was worrying about who would take over from him, but more so missing the energetic youth that is always by his side, annoying him and generally being a pain. Teidoll was weeping for the student he will never see again. It was a black, black night yet no one seemed to notice that the stars were burning bright.

-xxxxxxxxxx-

"Baka wake up." A young man with long raven hair yelled. The teenage he was yelling at seemed to give him no response. You could see the boy had many injuries, his head was badly wounded and his arm was obviously broken. With the injuries the boy had, it was a wonder how he was alive; his bright red hair looked even more vibrant against his pale skin. It was a sad sight. The other member of the two boys looked barely injured. He had a few scraps and his long hair was matted and a mess. He was knelt down beside the other boy and removed to cold compress from the injured ones head. He placed it in a bowl of cold water, rung it out and replaced it on his head.

"If you die on me now Lavi, I'll never forgive you." The boy said to himself watching his companion struggle to live.

"neh... Yuu-chan" the boy said. He was still unconscious though his good arm moved a little.

"Baka. Even in your sleep you call me that." Kanda said making a mental note to hit him for it when he is better.

Kanda sat against the wall they were staying in. It was barely even a house, it had a roof and four walls, a working tap and some old blankets but it was no way equipped to help Lavi get well. The thought struck Kanda that the lively red head wouldn't pull through. To Kanda the very thought was unacceptable. He had to make sure he punished the rabbit properly for he did something Kanda found unbearable. The red head had saved his life.

-xxxxxxxxxxx-

**this is the begining **

**please review and tell me if i should continue**


	2. Little light in the frozen dark

**The next chapter. I hope you like. I hope you don't get to confused either. **

**The song is "I believe" by Kokia so I don't own it. If you think I should remove it tell me though I think it fits the mood.**

**Ty for the review I loved reading them though for some strange reason I couldn't reply sorry**

'**meena**

"Yuu-chan hurry up we'll miss the train." A hypoactive Lavi yelled to his companion. Kanda was taking his time, not looking forward to the task at hand. The thought of spending two weeks alone with the bounce red head made his stomach turn. He thought to himself 'when I get back I'll be having a word with Komui about sending me on missions with this retard.'

"come on, hurry up its here."

"What's got you so exited?"

"no bookman. I have a mission alone with my favourite person in the whole wide world." The grin he was wearing on his face grew ten times bigger.

"Let's just go before you make us late." Kanda said barging past Lavi. Lavi pouted until Kanda was could not see him. He sighed a sad sigh, shook his head and then followed after his companion.

The train pulled into the station they were at. Their mission was one in Scotland; akuma had made a nest out of an old Celtic village. Their job was to exterminate the nest and investigate the reason they were drawn there. They boarded the train that was bound for Auchtermuchty, a village near their destination famous for its beauty and good food. They soon found their way to their privet cabin. Lavi sat next to the window and Kanda sat opposite him though near the door. As the train started on its journey Kanda got the feeling it was going to be a very long mission.

For Kanda the journey was far too quiet. Lavi didn't say a word. Kanda was now very worried about what he could possibly be planning. To braid his hair, draw on his face, or worse. He cringed at the thoughts that flowed into his mind. Because of the silence Kanda couldn't relax the whole train journey. He looked to the red head. All he was doing was looking out the window with a solemn look on his face, watching the scenery go by. After an hour of the train ride Kanda slipped into a light sleep hoping that Lavi was not planning anything he would have to kill him for later. Lavi stopped looking out the window and stared at Kanda, a small sad smile appeared on his face. Sleep soon claimed the red head to; as he drifted into an uneasy sleep the last thing he saw was Kanda sleeping peacefully, unaware of the problem he was creating.

-xxxxxxxxxxx-

Kanda looked down to Lavi, who was still fighting for life.

"That train ride was the beginning of this whole mess, why were you not yourself. Why were you so quiet, why were you not annoying me, why were you so sad?" Kanda mentally slapped himself for thinking this way. Why did he even care? He never had before.

"You infuriate me even when you're unconscious." Kanda said to himself

"Sorry Yuu-chan, I'll try to be conscious next time." A small week voice said to him.

Kanda looked down to see the bright green eye of his companion practically glowing against his pale skin.

"You have to rest now, there will be plenty of time for me to yell at you and hit you later, however, Lenalee and Allen would cry if you didn't come back, and I don't want to be the one to be the one listening to their crying." He stated.

"Yuu-chan."

"what?"

"what if they already think we're dead? I mean after everything that happened, the finder probably reported us killed in action. Does that mean we can't even go back?" Lavi asked. There was a small hint of fear in his voice.

"Of course we can go back. If that's the case then everyone would be majorly surprised. But no matter what happens we have to get back. The innocence has to be returned."

"True"

"Now stop worrying and rest. I'll be glad when you get better that way I can stop babysitting you."

"Sorry."

"Rest" with the final statement from Kanda, Lavi closed his eyes. Within a few minutes he was asleep again.

Kanda took the time to get some rest of his own. His eyes closed as he drifted into a light sleep. Dreams of earlier events flooded his dreams.

_Come to me when my tears are dry._

_I try do dry my contorted cheek, but it becomes wet with tears one after the other._

_I have nothing to hide, but I don't want to show you my pain._

_I am still dreaming deep under the sea._

_I am still floating between the sunshine all around me._

He recalled the terrified screams of the still human villagers, the gunfire of the akuma that were surrounding them, the blood, all the blood, it was everywhere. He looked down to his hands. They were covered in the red coppery substance, yet it wasn't his. He looked around to try and find the source. A smile, a laugh, he heard his name being called.

_From the deep deep bed of the sea._

_I believe you hear my voice, even if I fell down forever._

_Everyone has departed across the sea._

_Why do I feel comfortable when wandering in this dark cold place?_

He looked around darkness. No blood anymore, no screams or gunshots either. He yelled out, screamed yet no one heard him. No one came to save him from the darkness. But what did he expect; he had never given anyone else a reason to help him. He collapsed from the fear the darkness brought. He placed his head in his hands, tears falling freely from his eyes. Emptiness, loneliness they claimed him.

_Taking a breath, going up toward the ocean bubbles._

_From the deep deep bed of the sea._

_I believe you hear my voice, even if I fell down forever._

_Dropping my fear, I will make a flower bloom on the bed of the sea, hopefully_

After a while of this pain as small light appeared. It was flashing, struggling to glow. He got up off the floor; this was not how he wanted to be. He took a chance and headed towards the light. As he did he began to hear a vaguely familiar voice though I couldn't make out what it was saying. As he got closer he heard what it was saying; it repeated that sentence, that sentence that changed his life.

_I believe you hear my voice, even if I fell down forever._

_Dropping my fear, I will make a flower bloom on the bed of the sea, hopefully._

_I believe someday I'll be able to accept everything, even if I cried and lost everything._

_Everything was born in the sea._

_Until the day we die and return to the sea,_

_believe yourself_

"But why me!" he yelled out in agony. "why me." The voice disappeared. He was left alone in the darkness, sobbing, cradling his frozen heart. He soon came to realize that it was never frozen at all.

_I believe, even in the dark, your voice casts a ray of hope._

_Take me away and guide me through to some place where I can breathe._

"Why do you care about someone like me?"

**Please review, I will give a cookie if you do so **


	3. the painful truth

**Next chapter. ty for ur lovely review. gives cookies. The chapters will come when I have time to do so, as I have exams coming up. **

**I don't own d gray man or we all know what would be happening :P. Nor do I own "oh starry night" which is actually a song.**

"Oh starry night Tell me, is he my own true love?" Lavi sings to himself whilst looking out onto the town. They had made it to the town of Auchtermuchty. He was in their hotel looking out from the hotel balcony. The view was amazing. There were houses with vines of beautiful flowers growing up them. They were in bloom as well so there were many colours as far as the eye, red one, and purple ones. But Lavi was entranced by the blue roses across the way from where they were. Humming to himself he waited as the time slowly passed. He was tempted to do down and pick one however he was waiting for his companion to get back from cheeking out the surroundings, Kanda had insisted on going by himself which meant he was stuck here by himself.

The time went by and Kanda had still not returned. Lavi was looking to the horizon. The sun was beginning to sink and darkness descended across Scotland. Worry swept over him, Kanda was not back and he left in the morning. Lavi grabbed his hammer and ran out of the hotel. He didn't care that Kanda would be pissed if he came and found him and he was perfectly fine. However, the aching in the pit of Lavi's stomach wouldn't leave him alone. Something was wrong and he was not going to wait for it to become too later to do anything.

-xxxxxxxxxxx-

"Where the fuck am I?" and confused Kanda cried out. The sun was setting and he had spent the whole day searching the forest outside the village the akuma were nesting in. He had spent the whole evening trying to find his way back.

"everything looks the bloody same!" he said to himself. He was right. Each way you turned there were similar looking trees everywhere. There was no way for him to tell what way he had come from and what way he was supposed to go.

Kanda sat down on a nearby log, exhausted by all the walking he has had to do. He sighed, deciding a five minute break would not kill him. As he sat down he heard a noise. He looked to the direction that the noise was coming from. It was a rustle in the trees. Suddenly the direction changed. He looked in that direction. Again he could see nothing; all he could do was follow the sound as it changed directions.

"Rabbit. If that is you I will skin you alive!" Kanda called out.

The noise stopped. Kanda was now expecting a hypoactive rabbit to jump out at him in a poor attempted to frighten him.

Suddenly the rustling begun again. Kanda look to his left, and then there was a sound coming from his right. Suddenly he was surrounded by something. Kanda made the assumption that it was an akuma attack. He readied Mugen. Darkness overcame him. Before he knew what was happening he was unconscious. When he finally awoke, the first thing he saw was blood, and lots of it. His normal cold expression was over came with shock and surprise, sadness and pain. He was overcome with so many unfamiliar emotions all at once that everything that happened from that point forward was a complete blur. To him nothing was making sense; he couldn't even focus on what he was doing. When he had finally regained control of himself and calmed down, he found himself running away half carrying Lavi. He had one arm under his shoulder and the other on his side stopping the bleeding from a very large wound that was there. Kanda found himself wondering how he had got it but something told him that it was because him Lavi was in this condition. He didn't know what he hated more at this point, the fact that the red head had helped him, or the fact that the redhead had to help him. At that point he didn't know who he was most angry at Lavi or himself. He looked at Lavi as he was carrying him away, his stomach twitched a little and he found himself feeling sad. He mentally slapped himself and decided that running was a better idea at this point in time.

-xxxxxxxxxxx-

Kanda thought back to himself that he was still unsure of what had happened. His memory was incomplete from the shock.

"Yuu-chan what ya thinking about?" Lavi asked weakly from his make shift bed.

"nothing, just trying to piece together everything that has happened. I can't remember what happened. Anyway I thought I told you to rest. I refuse to drag your corpse up to the order."

"That's harsh Yuu-chan even by your standards. Anyway I have no intention of dieing just yet. I still have to wait for my starry night."

"Your what?"

"It's a story. I'll tell you it when I feel better. Now I think I'll sleep, saves me being insulted."

"You do that."

The red head closed his eyes and drifted into a painful looking sleep. He left Kanda pondering, though he would never admit to it, about what the 'starry night' was all about.

Kanda decided that will he was asleep it would be the best time to redress Lavi's injuries. He took some old looking sheets and started ripping them into strips. He started gathering old wood together into a pile. He then set it alight with a flint he found nearby. The heat from the fire soon filled the room killing the cold that was around them. He then boiled a bowl of 

water with the strips of sheets in them. This was to sterilize them as best as he could in the current situation.

Though he was not glad the red head was injured but he was glad that he had something to keep his mind off what he was going on. How his heart hurt every time he looked at him. He decided that it was because he was not in his right mind at the moment, and that when he finally manages to get him and Lavi back to the order he can train the strange feeling right out of him.

After ten minutes the bandages were boiled and ready for use. The hotter they were the more sterile they will make the wound when they are placed on it. However this is excruciatingly painful which is why he waited until Lavi was asleep, he wouldn't feel it. Gently lifting him up so he was in a sitting position, he took off the old bandages. The wound was very deep. It was on his The skin around it was purple and torn. The wound itself was covered in puss, it was a horrible yellow colour and is smelt slightly. Kanda took a cloth he boiled along with the bandages and wiped the infection to remove some of the puss. After a while of doing this he began to notice something strange. There were small bubbles coming out from the wound. The little colour from Kanda's face drained. He took the bandages and wrapped them around the wound as tight as he possibly could without cutting off his circulation. He now had something else to think about. How to get Lavi out of here fast. Those bubbles meant that Lavi had a punctured lung and without help in the next 24 hours he would die from it. Kanda though maybe it was already to later, Lavi had started to struggle to breath.

**For those of you who don't know "oh starry night well u'll have t wait and see.**

**Plz review. Sorry about the length of the chapter but I can never right long chapters just long stories lol. Oh and saving our souls is still going on I just havnt had an idea for the next chapter yet. **


	4. Failure

**m sorry for the late update i've had my a-lvls and they were going ba so i didnt feel like writing.**

**ty for all the reviews hugs for everyone.**

**im not very proud of this chapter but i hope u like it anyway**

**'meena**

**--xxx**

"Shit."

That was all Kanda could say right now. Not only was Lavi suffering from head injuries and was probably slightly concussed, he now had a lung that was leaking air and not working probably. His face was growing ever more pale, his breathing was more struggled. Kanda was at a loss. He had no idea what to do; it killed him that he may have to sit and watch the rabbit die. Without the to yell at him for saving him, without the chance to hit him for making Kanda think new things, and without the chance to say how much he really did care.

Kanda hit himself for being stupid, he decided the last one he would never do, he'd never live it down. He also started to think what he could possibly do to help Lavi.

Kanda had never done first aid. He had no clue on the subject. Why would he need it, he heals super fast. But he does remember Teidoll treating Marie for a punctured lung. It was a while ago, it took Kanda a while to remember but he now knew what he had to do if he wanted to try and save Lavi.

He started ripping up his jacket, most of it into strips but on bit was left in a big patch. He stuck the patch in the boiling water to make it as clean as possible. Without waiting for it to cool down he placed it straight on the wound, hoping that it would kill some of the infection that the wound had accumulated. Lavi was not so please with this. His back arched and he let out a cry of pain. He breathing then became more erratic.

"Please just bare with it." Was all that Kanda could muster to say. He couldn't say don't worry everything will be fine because that was a blatant lie and Kanda couldn't do that to him. The green eye slowly started to open. He looked around to see why he was in so much pain. His eye set on Kanda holding the piece of hot cloth to his wound. His breathing settled down a bit enough for him to speak.

"What? Am I not dieing fast enough for you?" he asked in a joking voice though it was barely audible. Kanda just looked at him and shook his head.

"Is it that bad? I really did wanna go back ya know." He said looking at the ceiling.

"Don't be a moron; though its bad if you shut up for five minutes while I think of something then I may be able to do something about it."

"Touché. But seriously how bad is it?"

"We can't move from here or else you'll die from it. We can't call for help because there is no phone and even if we could I have no idea where we are so they couldn't find us anyway."

"That bad huh. You should go, Akuma will be around here soon. I'll just drag you down."

"As much as I would love to do that I can't just leave you here to die. I'll just think of something."

It went silent for a while whilst Kanda finished the patch to stop the air from leaving Lavi's lung so he could breathe easier. He looked back over his work. It was not brilliant but it seemed to be doing the job as the red head seemed to be able to breathe normally. Kanda moved against the wall and leaned against it. He had forgotten how exhausted he was.

"Yuu-chan you should sleep. You look as bad as me." Lavi said.

"I can't. With a punctured lung you can't be left unattended. "Kanda replied. There was little emotion in his voice but you could hear the fatigue that was in it.

"Any brilliant ideas Yuu-chan?"

"..."

"I'll take that as a no then."

"You should sleep. I'd rather you did that while annoying me while I think."

"If you say so Yuu-chan. Shame we have no way of letting the others no we're ok."

Lavi laid down on his makeshift bed and closed his eyes. Before Kanda could complain he was fast asleep. His chest rising and falling, rising and falling... Kanda's eyes started to close. The exhaustion was catching up on him. The next thing he knew everything was black. No light to be seen at all. His mind was racing; he had no idea what was happening. He fell to the ground and darkness overcame him. He surrendered to it. In doing so he gave up hope of his own happiness. For him to be happy it only meant suffering to the other, the one person in the world he could stand to be around, even though he acted like he didn't. He gave up the hope of ever being able to love ages ago.

Exiled. That's what would happen. They would be exiled and disgraced. The person who had found their way into his heart would be destroyed, never to be able to look his friends in the face again.

Kanda had known for a long time this would happen, so he took pre-emptive measures to prevent it. To prevent himself from getting close to someone, to stop himself from falling in love, but more importantly to stop anyone for ever falling for him.

Apparently he failed.


	5. finally

**Sorry for the wait. I had hit writers block. Gomen.**

**Here's the next chapter which is slightly longer than normal. **

**Enjoy**

**--xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx--**

Drip, drip, drip.

The slow dripping of water was all Kanda could hear. He looked around to see where it was coming from.

Drip, a drop hit him of the face. It was raining. The roof of the house they were taking refuge in was leaking. 'Great' was all Kanda thought. It then hit him that it was really quiet, too quiet to be exact. His heart started to race and he looked over to Lavi, he was still breathing but something shook Kanda. His face had become bright red with fever. Kanda panicked his heart was in his throat. He knew if he didn't do something Lavi would die.

He went over to Lavi, shaking him to wake him up. Gentle so as not to reopen he wound. He slowly opened his eyes, they were red and blood shot.

"We're going we have to it's your only hope right now." Kanda said, he started to help Lavi into a sitting position.

"Yuu I can't even stand, you should just leave me and go on." Lavi said his body swaying slightly.

"Can't do that"

"But Yuu..."

"Listen we are going and that's it. Even if I have to fucking carry you. If you stay here u will defiantly die if we go there is still a chance. I thought you wanted to see those morons again! All we have to do is get to the next town it can be that far away." Kanda yelled, he fisted balled in rage.

Lavi nodded in complete defeat, he had lost. He looked over to Kanda who was backing up what little supplies they had. He was cursing under his voice. Lavi was reading his movements, they were different from what they usually are. Something was off, he couldn't put his finger on it, but Kanda almost seemed worried and scared. He then mentally slapped himself because there was no way "his" Yuu-chan would ever be worried. He was far too brave and stubborn to be worried or scared. He was however, trying very hard to help him. Lavi felt bad for being such a downer, hell if Kanda was gonna try and save his life he may as well enjoy being the damsel in distress as long as he was still breathing. Lavi was 99 sure he was not gonna make it through, so sure he was just going to lie down and die. But now his will to live has returned, and he was pretty sure it was thanks to Yuu, but he wasn't gonna say that as that will most certainly kill him. He let out a small laugh at his train of thought. Kanda turned around and looked at him. A small light pierced through the rain clouds and hit Kanda in such a way that to Lavi he looked very... heavenly.

"What?"

"Nout."

"Well we're going now. Got it?" Kanda said. Lavi nodded and held out an arm.

Kanda walked over to Lavi and wrapped his arm under his shoulder and around his upper body. Lavi used this as leverage to help him get up.

"If it gets too much tell me and I will carry you." Kanda stated. Lavi nodded. He was in too much pain to give a coherent answer. With that they left the hovel of a house and began their journey to the nearest town.

They had been travelling for a few days. Kanda was surprised Lavi was still holding on but his condition was still worsening. He fever had gotten much worse. Kanda started to feel as though it would have been kinder to let him die in peace. As he did there was a kick in his stomach. It reminded him that the reason he was doing this was because he wanted the red head to live. Even if it was painful to watch he wanted him to live. Just as much as he wanted to be able to love him.

Wait when did he become such a sap, he said to himself. Lavi let out a cry of pain which was a sign that they needed to stop for a bit. He set Lavi down against a tree. He handed him the flask which had some water in. Lavi took it and had a drink. He then handed it back. Kanda then had a drink. There was an eerie silence between the two of them. It was almost like tension.

"How much longer do you think this will take?" Lavi asked, his voice horse and shaky.

"Not much longer, I'm sure" Kanda replied, hoping his lie was enough.

Apparently there was someone on his side because Lavi didn't question him.

An hour passed as they rested. Hardly saying anything it seemed like days that they had been sitting there.

"Say Yuu-chan?" Lavi asked. His voice week but there was a hint of mischief in it.

Kanda turned and looked at him.

"Come here."

"Why?"

"Just for once in your life do as someone else asks" there was a slight pout on his face. Kanda sighed and gave in.

"Close." Again Kanda obliged. The next thing he knew was Lavi's lips were against his. What was even worse was the hot sensation running through his body, and to top it all he found himself enjoying it. He pulled the red head closer to him only to have Lavi's arms wrap around him. The kiss deepened. Kanda realised he would be kicking himself in the gut for this later.

Soon the need to breath became an issue so they pulled away, but only enough to breath, their arms were still wrapped around each other. Lavi laid his head on Kanda's shoulder.

"Yuu, you don't have to wear your ice shield around me." He said hoarsely trying to catch his breath. He turned his to look up at Kanda, who was in somewhat state of shock. Lavi decided he best continue while he could.

"You feel that if you let anyone know what you are they will leave you, betray you. So you protect yourself by raising a shield to prevent anyone getting close to you heart, that probably hurts more than this punctured lung."

Kanda looked down at Lavi, still shocked. It seems Lavi had known about his defences all along. He didn't know what to say. Not a word came to his mind. His heart hurt, it hurt a lot, not allowing yourself to get close to anyone. But it wasn't possible now, was it?

"Your right." Were the only words that came to his mind. He blinked. "No one would accept me if they knew, not that they do now but at least it on my own terms." Kanda felt like he was defending his actions. Maybe he had to, he had no idea he's never been in this situation.

"Come on do you honestly think they would give a damn. Lenalee would be thrilled, Allen would be glad and happy for us, Komui as well. I'm sure everyone else will come round eventually."

"Sure but why would Allen and Komui be happy."

Lavi let of a slight chucked and answered "because that would be to fewer men after Lenalee."

"Allen likes Lenalee?"

"I thought that was common..."

Kanda cut him off. There was something not right. He reached from Mugen. Lavi had notice, he tried to grab his hammer but Kanda stopped him, giving his a stern look.

"Exorcist." Came a voice from the tree.

"exorcist." Another voice.

"exorcist." Yet another voice. Soon there was a choir of voices chanting "Exorcist" they soon appeared as well. Many Akuma, level 2's and level 3's. Kanda was sure that they were both going to die now Lavi was too weak running was not an option. His body was sleep deprived and he had not eaten in days. But he'd be damned if he was going die without a fight.

Kanda charge at the Akuma. Within moment he had killed 6 level 1's. He kept going slicing and summoning the powers of his blade. His body was betraying him, his eyes were blurry. All of a sudden there was a sharp pain to the back of his head. He was laying out cold.

"Kanda" Came a voice gentle yet strong. It sounded familiar, so familiar.

"Kanda, wake up please." There it was again. He wanted to see who was there.

"Brother he's not waking up." Now the voice was panicked. He wanted to wake up, there was someone unnecessarily worrying about him. He was fine. There was a wretch in his heart. Lavi what about him. He mustered all his strength and opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was the girl, long dark hair and big eyes greeted him.

"Lenalee?"


End file.
